Ghost Recon Wildlands Review

Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Wildlands
Developer: Ubisoft Paris
Publisher: Ubisoft
Platform: Playstation 4 (reviewed), Xbox One, PC via Steam
U.S. Release Date: March 7, 2017

Oh what a brave new world this is.  Once upon a Tom Clancy game was nothing more than a name slapped on an overly ambitious video game to garnish a higher number of sales by associating with a famous author.  Now that isn't to say that the games are inherently bad, but let's just say that history hasn't been overly kind to them either.  The series is as marred with shovelware CoD simulators as much as any other as large as it has been with some series getting a new title with as little as a year between them, but that doesn't preclude them from having a few good fully formed turds every once in a while.

While Wildlands may be a polished turd we still need to remind ourselves that at its core is is just that: a turd.  The controls are anything but smooth and honestly it took some serious patching to solidify how helicopters fly (honestly now after 6 months post release do they FINALLY feel flyable without much trouble). But that's not really how I want to focus this review.  Yes, the game has issues, be aware that it controls like a drunk brick, that the menu is unintuitive, that the map is more clustered than someone's gonorrhea splattered genitals, and that honestly the way leveling works really makes me want to throw someone off a cliff.  Be aware of all that, because it is important.

I feel like bothering spoiler tags for this game and this review would be doing it a disservice because the story is so fragmented and all over the place (literally the map is a bunch of different provinces, each with their own story that wraps back into the big one in small little ways) that I'd never be able to fully describe it, so I'll give you the ass wiping version of it and call it good.  More or less the game takes place in Bolivia where a Mexican drug cartel called Santa Blanca and their leader El Sueno (Spanish for The Sueno) has come in to take over the local coca fields and make some sick ass fucking cocaine man.  Now obviously this is a bad thing and the CIA sent in an agent to get the skinny on them before sending in the ghosts to take them out.  Well shit went sideways, he got killed, and an embassy was blown up, so no its time to take this cartel down for good.  You're team (Nomad) is an elite group of special agents called ghosts.  You have to go through and destabilize the cartel operations in order to get to El Sueno.  There also a rebel faction who are freedom fighters for Bolivia too so they throw in their best for you too.

Throughout the game you have to complete a series of provinces to destabilize the cartel and their operations with influence, smuggling, production, and security.  The base game offers 21 of these provinces, and each province is held by a boss or buchon.  In each province you must perform different tasks to lure the buchon out of hiding and either kill or capture them.  These tasks can be airing out their dirty laundry (not literally), destroying coca fields, blowing up stockpiles, or my personal favorite, killing bad guys.  No really, despite the shitty controls the gun play in the game is incredibly fun because you can mark targets for the AI to automatically kill, and you can mark up to 3 at a time.  It's kind of insane.

As I mentioned the gun play is excellent especially with how they give you a different set of options to mix it up with when you're playing with different approaches.  For example I constantly found myself in the eternal debate on whether to parachute into a base, ram through the gates with a truck loaded with C4, take out the guards and stealth in, or guns blazing in a Humvee with a minigun on it.  The awesome thing is that for the most part, the choice is yours everytime.  There's a handful of situations that require the use of stealth, but outside of that go wild, do what you gotta do, and by all means make the cartel suffer.

I doubt it would surprise anyone that turds are offensive to people, and this one is no different.  The entire country of Bolivia was so pissed off that Ubisoft left this nice plopper on their lawn that they actually filed a suite against Ubisoft Paris for "misrepresenting their country", and while I can totally agree with their claim, it is a bit silly.  But, in Ubisofts defense they did use Bolivia as a backdrop for their claim of "[Bolivia's] beautiful vistas, wholesome culture, and lively people" which actually does shine through in the game, and has turned Bolivia into somewhere I have actually added to my top places to visit since this game came out (though I'll fully admit to a desire to do more research before I go).  So whatever the hell Ubisoft did, it worked on me.

The largest overall complaint I have is how unintuitive and hard to use the map and mission selector are.  Some games have really well made UI's but this on is just kinda like here's this really detailed map, and then here's literally all this shit you can do, sort it out, oh and zooming out doesn't help because you never get a summary of activities for a region, just who the boss is and your progress on getting them, and beyond that is a cartel overview. Additionally there are no indicators of what collectibles are underground or above ground so you can spend quite a bit a time searching for one specific item if you don't already know where it's at (I actually spent around 30 minutes trying to get an item that ended up being underground which I never really got because I couldn't find a way down).  Really even if it's just on the mini map this is the kinda shit that needs to be marked or indicated in some way, shape, or form as it caused me a large headache.

Finally the last little bit I want to touch on is DJ Perico, the in game radio host who works as a propaganda agent for the cartel.  He quite enigmatic, fun, funny, and one of the most real characters in a game I've ever met in a while.  He only plays a small role as a buchon in the story, but due to his status as a radio personality he's all over the place in this game.  Really he adds a lot to live up to here, and makes the driving portions a lot more bearable as you get some genuinely funny dialog along the way.

While Wildlands is a turd, it's a fun turd, the kind you play and enjoy your time with despite all the glaring flaws that the game has.  I actually once referred to this game as my guilty pleasure, because to some the idea of fun (which I've talked about before) is so foreign and almost damning that the true purpose of games is all but lost on them.  Though all of that I'd like everyone to remember that.  MY final verdict comes down to seven wet squirts out of ten, I do want to add a turdsterisk to it and say that it's a fun experience even if you don't play it through to completion.